Slice of Cake

I am not sure where this season is going for the Heat but I am starting to feel a little more confident in our ability to stand up next year and be counted. I may be a little premature in calling this season over but should I really be expected to get excited about an eighth playoff seed?

Why is there even that many teams allowed in the playoffs anyway? It's not like the eight seeds have historically been the hardest teams to bounce out of the playoffs. I would imagine they would almost always be the first losers out.

Why not change the playoffs? Everyone else gets to do it. Why not us? What would be the harm in shortening it to a three game series? How intense would the games be if only four teams were allowed from each conference? Much, much more, that's how much.

Just imagine how crazy a three game series would get. One opening loss and your teams hopes and dreams will be seen in the front their fans eye as devastated as slamming their new Porsche into a parking column. Parking column one. Silly car zero.

Yeah that’s right. I almost forgot about the money issue. The NBA would never consider shortening the series or lessen the amount of teams that get in because they would lose too much money. David Stern, I’m sure would not even consider it. Just like he never considers Jim Rome’s idea to cut losses and shut down the WNBA. Ladies, don’t get me wrong, I love you all but butch women aren’t hot. Wow, I’m sound real sexists. I’m not though and you’ll just have to trust me.

Anything we can do they can do better and Natalie Randolph third year wide receiver for the D.C. Divas is proving that. This 5’5, 125 lbs. women is believed to be by The Washington Post the only female on a high school coaching staff in the country. She is good looking, but scary too. I definitely want her on my side in a fight.

Sorry to my one fan out there for tapering my blog to twice a month on Tuesdays while another disappointing season comes to an end. Hey it’s all good Charles Barkley guaranteed Miami on the Dan Lebatard Show last week that “Dwyane Wade is not going anywhere next year”. Ok so it took some probing to get him to say it but all joking aside he did say that he was extremely confident that Dwyane Wade will stay a Heat player next year.

Piece

Steve Edward

Heat @ Cavs

Who wants the Heat to go to the playoffs this year? Let me ask this, do you feel like getting your underwear set on fire the next time you pump gas? I didn’t think so. If we go to the playoffs the Heat will be going up against the big dogs, the apparent matchup being Miami at Cleveland. This will just be downright ugly and nothing good can come of it, nothing. Nobody in their right mind thinks Miami can beat the Cavs. I would imagine not even Dwyane Wade thinks they can do it.

Tell me, what is the harm in bowing out gracefully? Does squeaking into the playoffs really make D-Wade feel any better about the situation down here? No, it shouldn’t. If he really wants to stay he is just going to have to give Pat Riley enough time to shimmy and shake his magic.

All Riley needs to do is get that one big name out there. If he can get it done fast enough without stalling our roster should look good enough to prove we are going out there and getting D-Wade a team he can win hopefully a few championships with.

Many of the players on our current roster won’t be here next year and I know one we probably won't be keeping. We are paying Jermaine O’Neal twenty-three million this year. Whoa, whoa, whoa, we pay Jermaine twenty-three million? Seriously? All I can say is he got us. Got us good, Dwyane Wade is only making sixteen million.Question is, will we bring him back next year? If he doesn’t take a giant pay cut I don’t see it happening. But if the big man likes us enough and his knees continue to improve little by little I can see him doing some great things for us as a fourth or fifth option. He can still shoot and come through with some weak side blocks every now and then.

Who else though are we going to keep? James Jones is not really putting up the numbers anyone thought he would and it doesn’t look like the Heat will pick up his option for five million. I may be completely wrong though. He may just need better players around him to give him more time out there on the perimeter. We have to keep Chalmers at least one more year. His option is only around eight hundred grand. With one more offseason he should work out of this sophomore slump.

That’s it, no more, adios muchachos. Other than Michael Beasley and Daequan Cook no one else is under contract. Dwyane Wade has an eighteen mil player option but I am sure he will demand a new contract. And he deserves every penny, so cough it up Micky Arison. Otherwise I will sell my stock in Carnival Cruise Lines. Ummm, I don’t have any stock but my grandparents have pension money and I will tell them to go to Royal Caribbean. Not enough to scare you? Well that’s all I got. Just open up your five billion dollar checkbook and buy Dwyane Wade a private island.

On a side note how great was that fro Beasley sported last month. I love how this guy is so cool he comes out with a different hair cut every month. Dude, how funny is this guy? I’ll go as far as saying Beasley might be the funniest player in the league. Now he just needs the chance to do a “Jim Rome Show” correspondence piece and put down a rap about Taco Bell. Did you see the Delonte West KFC rap?

Piece
Steve Edward

Our Very Own Local Legend

Udonis Haslem is not dispensable. I repeat, UD is indispensable to our organization. He does the stuff nobody wants to do. But I’m going to stop just short of calling him a grunt.

When I hear about UD leaving, I get upset. Why is this guy so under-appreciated here? He comes down here and signs for less money a few years ago, if I’m not mistaking. But when the Heat draft another power forward 2^nd overall and then sat him for hence draft, at no time did I hear him complain.

I’m not saying he is the greatest power forward ever. I’m just saying he is the greatest power forward to ever play in the number 40 jersey for the Miami Heat. He should remain here to be that inspiring local legend that made it to the big time in his hometown.

No, he’s not going to put up all-star numbers game in and game out but he is the head cornerstone of a strong bench in my opinion. I don’t think it gets thought of very often, but I think UD could start for at least ten of the other teams out there. With this hardnosed player on our bench and not starting for someone else, we are not only better defensively on second string but team chemistry is always better off with a guy like him on it.

I don’t know what would happen if I put it to the fans, but aside from the understandably obligatory Dwyane Wade answer, UD would get my vote for my favorite player on the squad. Read again, I said other than D-Wade who is your favorite player? My answer will be for the foreseeable future, Udonis Haslem.

Grit, determination, bold blocks and strong defense are all things I associate with UD when thinking of his past performances. I don’t think I have ever seen him take a play off either. If ownership balks and lets him walk I will definitely attend fewer games. Ohhh wait, I can only afford to go to three or four as it is, unless I win them from 790am The Ticket.

Udonis will be the cornerstone of the bench for our future championships if we can retain his services through next year. Remember, the Heat only have like three players under contract next year, so we may have an entirely different squad on the hardwood next season. Let’s just hope the heat value him enough to offer him a good contract that will make him think twice if he was contemplating leaving. I’ve seen 3 years 10 million thrown around but I have no clue as to where that would put us in the chase for the top tier free-agents this off-season. So if they don’t offer him a large contract I’m hoping he still loves his home and team enough to take the hometown discount again.

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Steve Edward

Slam Dunk Contest LOL

Did anyone else catch the all-star weekend? Yeah, neither did I. Well, I did watch a little of it. What a joke. I can’t remember the last time I saw such an irrelevant event. Oh yeah, the Pro-Bowl.

I mean come on; Nate Robinson is the first ever three time defending champ of the slam dunk contest. Can I request an asterisk on that record? And who in the world is DeMar DeRozan the guy who came in second? Seriously, I‘ve never heard of this cat before Saturday. And I watch a lot of sports. No offense to my man Gerald Wallace, he’s killing on my fantasy team, but where was the effort. I’m not very sure what NBA players do to warm up before a game but when it comes to a slam dunk contest I would imagine that shooting long twos and threes aren’t the most important thing to make sure you can hit. I’m just saying, how about a little sweat and effort out of the leftovers that do actually agree to participate in this joke.

Don’t even get me started on Daequan. I was truly hoping the three-point contest would light that fire under him and bring him out of this half a season long slump. But no, we can probably expect another half of .312 FG PCT. But maybe, just maybe he will take this first round embarrassment and use it as locker room material. We need someone to be a threat on the outside.

How bout MV3 getting the all-star MVP nod? No really, that was a question. I didn’t watch it. I just couldn’t do it. Too much going on and I also don’t really get worked up much for these types of events. Why even cover this? We all know he is one of the absolute best players in the game, so when I hear I missed an great performance, I don’t get proud of my guy. I already know he can do that.

It makes me sad, is what it does. He could do that night in and night out if he only had the talent around him like he does in Olympic years or all-star games. Okay that much talent is asking a lot, but you know what I mean.

Piece
Steve Edward